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FIFA 16 Career Mode: The Journey Man #3: Enter Assistant Manager

FIFA-Journey Man

Originally, I wasn’t at all interested in the idea of participating in a pre-season tournament, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of it. I’d do it again next season should the opportunity present itself. Today, we faced Stevenage in the opening fixture of the group stage at the Olympic Stadium.

On the team bus heading towards the Stadium, I decided to pen my starting eleven in a 4-4-1-1 formation. I haven’t seen the players play yet. Not even in training! How unprepared am I for this? However, pre-season isn’t about winning or losing, it’s about building up moral and match fitness. Not everyone will agree on that, however. Try telling Mr Chairman that when there’s a million quid (sorry, euros) up for grabs. My starting 11 was basically down to what Fred Davis and Graham O’Hanlon were feeding me considering how long they’ve been at the club.

Arrived at the stadium, got changed and headed out onto the pitch for the pre-match warm up. The capacity of the Olympic Stadium is around 14,000. There weren’t 14,000 people in the stadium. There didn’t even seem to be 1,000 people, and I doubt most of them weren’t even fans of the teams involved. Why did I think this? Because I looked around and saw a few people wearing Manchester United, Barcelona and AC Milan strips. I wasn’t the only one to pick up on this.

Graham O’Hanlon: Please say United aren’t here we’ll get fucking hammered off them.
Michael Johnson: Nah, it just looks as if people are turning up just to watch the footy, I doubt they even know who either of us are.
Andy Sheriff: Oh I don’t know like.

In the very far corner of the stadium, I spotted a group of Bohemian fans sitting behind an official Bohs flag which was tied to the posts.

Andy Sheriff: Looks like the support has turned up in force.
Fred Davis: Aye, look, there’s Big Bazz.

Fred shouts the name and gives a thumbs up in the direction of our fans. This one topless fan, who looked like Jabba the Hut in shorts, stands up to return the gesture.

Andy Sheriff: Who’s ‘Big Bazz’?
Fred Davis: Barry Reid, he’s the president of the supporters club and a very close friend to Matt (Devaney). He works the fish counter at Tesco, you know, the one next to the stadium.
Andy Sheriff: Seems to be our number one fan.
Fred Davis: Oh he is. He’s like what John Westwood is to Portsmouth, he’s that obsessed with Bohemians.
Gary Kelly: Will we get to meet him?
Graham O’Hanlon: Oh yes! Let’s just hope you don’t meet him when we’re in the shit!
Fred Davis: He isn’t someone to be messed with.
Andy Sheriff: Really? How so?
Fred Davis: There was this one time where we got our arses smacked by Shamrock Rovers. Six (Shamrock) Rovers fans told him that the Bohs were shite, and he knocked them all clean out. All on his own mind you with his bare hands! No witnesses though. I reckon he but the frighteners on them!

Oh great, looks like I’m likely to get my teeth smashed in with a trout by big bertha over there. No pressure, huh? I noticed that my striker, Jake Kelly, is limping. This isn’t good news. Fred has bigged him up all day and now it’s likely he’ll have to sit out the game. I was bowled over when his skinny, acne infested, pale, ginger kid ran onto the pitch wearing a Bohs tracksuit, which was three sizes too big, and cradling his medical equipment in his hand.

Gary Kelly: The fuck is that joker?
Graham O’Hanlon: Oh that’s the club’s physio, Sheamus O’Higgins. He’s been at the club for a month now.
Andy Sheriff: Looks like he’s fresh out of school.
Fred Davis: He is. Well, fresh out of university. Got a degree you know.
Andy Sheriff: And he’s our physio?
Fred Davis: Yeah, we’re not blessed with money so we had to make do with Mr Muscle over there.

Jake Kelly hobbled over with Sheamus running behind him, dropping his equipment as he followed.

Sheamus O’Higgins: I’m sorry, Mr Sheriff, but Jake can’t play. He’s hurt his ankle. Thankfully he won’t need an operation but he’ll be okay for the next game, sir.
Andy Sheriff: Thanks, Sheamus.
Sheamus O’Higgins: Thank you, Mr Sheriff, thank you.

He walked up the tunnel, wiping his nose on his tracksuit sleeve in the process. So Jake was out and I replaced him with Rob Creevy. We all returned to the locker room where I revealed the starting line-up and gave a brief team talk. Back in the dugout, I had to pinch myself. I’d never imagined that I would one day end up as a manager of a football club. I was brought out of my zone when the Stevenage Manager, Teddy Sheringham, introduced himself.

Teddy Sheringham: Good luck, mate.
Andy Sheriff: Aye, you too. Not too much luck, eh?

Teddy laughed as he shook my hand and then returned to his dugout.

Sheamus O’Higgins: His real name is Edward.
Andy Sheriff: What?
Sheamus O’Higgins: Teddy Sheringham’s real name is Edward, Mr Sheriff.

Blinded by knowledge, I turned my attention to the match as it had just kicked off. I was disturbed by what seemed like rustling. I turned around to see Fred scoffing his face with midget gems.

Andy Sheriff: What the fuck are you doing?
Fred Davis: You want one?
Andy Sheriff: No I fucking don’t, put them in the bin and focus on the game!
Sheamus O’Higgins: Can I have some please, Mr Davis?
Andy Sheriff: No, you’re not having any!
Sheamus O’Higgins: Oh please Mr Sheriff, I’m starving.
Andy Sheriff: Well you should have eaten your dinner should you?

What have I gotten myself into?

FIFA 16 Career Match (In Menus)

FIFA 16 Career Match (In Menus)
And there you go; we kick off our campaign with a victory over the League Two side. Stevenage may have had the lion’s share of the possession, but we stopped them from making any use of it. What a positive performance from the lads. May it continue!

FIFA 16 Career Match (In Menus)

FIFA 16 Career Match (In Menus)

FIFA 16 Career Match (In Menus)

FIFA 16 Career Match (In Menus)
We finished off the group stage in style with a win over Ativabergs and a draw against Crew Alexander. Progressing from the group scored us £172,800 (233,679 in euros) which made Matt very happy, bless him. Winning the group meant a tie against Falkenbergs in the semi-finals.

FIFA 16 Career Match (In Menus)

FIFA 16 Career Match (In Menus)
We’re through to the finals! Bloody hell! It was a close game, but we had that added grip and determination which proved to be helpful.
If getting to the finals was a surprise to me, imagine just how bowled over I was when I discovered that our opponents would be the team that I spent 15 seasons at, York City. I used my pre-match team talk to really drive home the point of how proud I was of the lads and that no matter what happens in this match, they’ve done themselves proud. Back again in the Olympic Stadium, I was touched by the reception I received from the York fans that turned out for the game, outnumbering our own fans! This wasn’t the time to be sentimental; we had a trophy to win.

FIFA 16 Career Match (In Menus)

Well stun me, we’ve only gone and won! I’m speechless, really I am. York were all over us in fairness, but we came back at them in the second half with a wonder goal by Buckley towards the end. We kept our nerves in the shootout and brought the Champion’s Cup home to Dublin. Just behind our dugout, I could see Big Bazz jumping for joy with his XXXXXXXL moobs almost giving him a black eye.

FIFA 16 Career Match 2-2 (1-4 Pens) YOR V BOH, Full Time
Back at the hotel, I told the lads that they can have a few bevvies before we return to Ireland the next day. I texted our Kelly what time we’re expected to arrive in Dublin, she texted back:

“can’t make it 2 airport tomorrow babe am decorating the bedroom. got a special something for u 😉 xxx”

A special something, huh? Before I could begin to daydream, I caught sight of Matt Devaney alone in reception. He invited me over and hugged me like I was his long term lover.

Matt Devaney: Mate, fucking hell! Seriously, that money is going to do a hell lot of good for this club. A million quid! Christ alive.
Andy Sheriff: It certainly does, could come in handy for transfers.
Matt Devaney: Absolutely, I remember you saying something about bringing in a few midfielders, yeah? Listen, the money is there and you have my full backing to bring in whoever you need to bring in.
Andy Sheriff: Cheers, Matt.
Matt Devaney: No problem, mate.

I turned to go to my room, but something a thought popped into my head. Something Matt said about bringing in “whoever I needed”.

Andy Sheriff: Matt, there is something I do want to talk to you about.
Matt Devaney: What’s up?
Andy Sheriff: You just said that I could bring in anyone that I want, yeah?
Matt Devaney: Yes, that’s correct.
Andy Sheriff: Does that apply to coaching staff, i.e an assistant manager?
Matt Devaney: You’re not still going on about him again?
Andy Sheriff: I am. You just said that I can bring anybody that I want, he’s the guy that I’m after and if you’re a man of your word then you’ll have no problem with it.
Matt Devaney: Can you not promote (Gary) Kelly or Fred (Davis)?
Andy Sheriff: I could, but I prefer bring in someone with experience. I’m disappointed that you’re so reluctant about all of this. Let me bring him in on a one year contract and if it doesn’t work out, I let his contract run out and it wouldn’t cost us a penny.

Matt pondered this for a few moments.

Matt Devaney: If it doesn’t work out, you’ll let him go on a free?
Andy Sheriff: Yes.
Matt Devaney: Okay, go ahead and sign him, but you’re responsible for him.
Andy Sheriff: Cheers, Matt. You’ll not regret it. He’ll be a massive boost for the club. Can I give him a call now and tell him the news?
Matt Devaney: Go ahead.
Like a kid on Christmas morning, I was excited to finally get the green light to sign my own assistant manager. We’ve exchanged e-mails and I promised him that I would give him a call regardless of the decision. Don’t know what the time difference is between England and Sweden, but I didn’t care. A promise is a promise and I’m a man of my word. I sat at my desk in my room and dialled the number on my mobile. I waited anxiously as I listened to the ringing of the phone…..
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It went to voice-mail!

Fuck this, I’ll ring it again.
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Ring, ring. Ring, ring.
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???: Hello?
Andy Sheriff: Hello, am I speaking to……
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Andy Sheriff: …….John Carver?

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This entry was posted on October 2, 2015 by in FIFA 16 Journey Man Career Mode and tagged , , , , , .
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